The Humbling by G Diesel
Many claim to be “humble” these days in an attempt to underscore their accomplishments or downplay their materialism. But I’d say that humility is most certainly a dying virtue. Invariably, it is also a necessary evil in every great man’s life.
One of my childhood heroes was multi-sport legend and swag King Kong, Deion Sanders, who once claimed, “they don’t pay nobody to be humble.” But I’d argue that to get paid like Prime, you’ll first have to be humbled many times.
The loftier your aspirations, the more open and vulnerable you’ll have to be to cutting yourself down and starting from the dirt. Naturally, it can be scary and daunting.
In the disciplines of physical culture, think about those earliest workouts. The self-consciousness entering the gym. The lack of knowledge and understanding of the technical aspects of the sport. How awkward the movements seemed. How heavy the weights felt. How cripplingly sore you were for days thereafter. And assuming you’ve been at it for some substantial time at this point–the distance between where you stood then, and where you stand today.
Remember, the masters of the arts or sports or skilled undertakings whom you most admire, were once rank amateurs. They all had a moment where they first dipped their toe into the waters in which they eventually submerged themselves. Their lowly “day one” starting point, the rock bottom foundation upon which they developed their otherworldly mastery. In this way, they are no different than you and I.
I have been humbled many times in my life, starting in my youth, the origin of so many of my biggest dreams. From getting sat on the bench with my dreams dashed, getting my ass kicked and my teeth smashed. Enduring those relative personal traumas as a kid changed me. They undercut my confidence and brought me to my knees. They forced me to start over, to rediscover and recreate myself stronger.
They also made me hungry. Deep in the pit of my stomach, I felt the pain. The anguish burned a hole inside of me. One I’d spend the rest of my life trying to fill. That loss—not unlike that of my father, taught me many lessons. And it put me in touch with the darker emotions—sadness, fear, disappointment, anger, frustration. Teaching me how to convert the more destructive feelings into fuel. How to channel my rage, growing strong under the weight of the chip on my shoulder.
Being humbled also made me a better human. Less quick to judge. More likely to empathize. Enduring stress and pain teaches us. Trauma tempers us emotionally. It made the lessons of my parents stick. When my father championed the underdogs and standing up to bullies. When my mother would speak of caring for the oppressed and the downtrodden… I could find common ground with those who were weak or vulnerable or in need, because my own personal experiences allowed me to imagine myself in their position, and how I’d hope others would treat me were I to find myself so unfortunate. Through my own relative pain, I could feel that of others and know true empathy. A guiding light that would lead me the rest of my life.
I wrestled with similar as an adult. Fighting barriers to break into my initial industry of choice, struggling to make headway, all the while attempting to kick in alternate doors. At the same time, I managed to work my way up in a more traditional corporate structure too, distinguishing myself and changing the culture there, all the while fighting against resistance. By the time I was ready to leave there and move on, I was simultaneously so fed up and so confident in my potential and ability. Sitting at my desk at what many on the outside saw as a dream job, sometimes I seethed, lamenting what I felt was an irretrievable loss of time and a waste of my potential. That said, my bills were paid. There was comfort to be found in my existential distress. To gain the ground in life I sought, I realized, it would take a daring leap, with only the guarantee of yet another great humbling.
With every humbling comes a rebuild. This is vital to the process. Not unlike the gym, where you must break down muscle through struggle and strain and be sore, only to recover and grow bigger and stronger again. You have to embrace that stress and damage as necessary to your growth. You have to be vulnerable enough to be cut down in the name of a cause greater than your ego. Nearing five years in the fight of my life to build this brand, I am again deep in the midst of such a rebuild. Not just professionally or financially–but in my confidence, in my boldness, in my spirit. What was lost and taken away by necessity and circumstance, each day I am slowly gaining back. My sense of self, though bloodied and battered on occasion, is resilient.
Which leads me to the final phase of this process. Each humbling has a corresponding reckoning. All of those who doubted you or judged you or reveled in your struggle… Those who mocked you or abandoned you along the way… The fair-weather friends and opportunists who took the first chance to bail when times were hard. Welcome them all, as they play a vital role in the stage play that is your life. Heroes need their character foils to manifest their strengths. You too will need opponents (imaginary or real) upon which to fix your gaze and fixate your rage. It seems dark, but this is real. Seeking vengeance will do you more harm than it will ever actually even the score, but that feeling is powerful. Use it to feed the fire within. Know this, there is no greater revenge possible than massive, undeniable success. They will all one day have front row seats to your rise.
Remember: manifesting the biggest dreams is supposed to be difficult. It has to be hard, it needs to hurt, in order to weed out the weak of will and the faint-hearted, the fronters and pretenders. You must prove yourself worthy of destiny. Daily. If it were easy, then everyone would do it. And it would cease to be special. I’ve never wanted what everyone else can have.
Whenever anyone calls me humble, it is meant as a compliment. But one I don’t quite know how to process. As if that should be a surprise, or as if I had any other choice. My entire life, I have been humbled by the crushing weight of immense aspirations. To be humble is all I know. To know where I’ve come from, what I’ve been through and endured, and how incredibly far I still have yet to go. I am humble because I have been humbled. And because I have been humbled, I will one day be great.
